Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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