I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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