So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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