Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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