; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Mom said you looked used
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
