bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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