I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
