My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
