Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
And then he peed in my hair
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