No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
