And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
smell my finger.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
