Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
