he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
