Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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