i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Randomize
