i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
