is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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