i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
is that a dick in a sweater?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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