He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
