I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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