I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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