So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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