so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
