I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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