Whod you bang
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
