why didn't you poke me back
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
