He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
