Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Randomize
