I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
