Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
