I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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