if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
