no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
