after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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