We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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