I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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