then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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