Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
