i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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