there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
