College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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