my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
