Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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