she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
