Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
