And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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