I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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