One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Come see our sink grown plant.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
