All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I fill condoms, not promises.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
