im gay
i know
yea but for you.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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