with your own penis?
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
