You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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