Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
