If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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