I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
All I want is dick and wine.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
